i beg myself for another chanceknowing it's one i won't take i ask and i ask and i askbelieving that i will actually take itthe next time around i push my luck but i've never had it run outit's this, that this, excuses up, down, and eventually all around how much longer must i lie to myself to avoid what needs to be owned. i need more to ignoreso i know there's still somewhere were blame can be...