not my fault

not my fault

i beg myself for another chance
knowing it's one i won't take
i ask and i ask and i ask
believing that i will actually take it
the next time around

i push my luck but
i've never had it run out
it's this, that this, excuses up, down,
and eventually all around

how much longer must i
lie
to myself to avoid
what needs to be owned. i need more to
ignore
so i know there's still somewhere were
blame can be placed
and be exempt from
accountability

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