i beg myself for another chance
knowing it's one i won't take 
i ask and i ask and i ask
believing that i will actually take it
the next time around 

i push my luck but 
i've never had it run out
it's this, that this, excuses up, down, 
and eventually all around 

how much longer must i 
lie 
to myself to avoid 
what needs to be owned. i need more to 
ignore
so i know there's still somewhere were 
blame can be placed 
and be exempt from 
accountability