I can't remember your name anymore
 Or exactly the way you looked
 But I've still kept you under the floorboards all these years,
 Only freeing bits of you under the guise of a joke
 Or a throwaway explanation for how I ended up this way
 I've never said aloud exactly what you did because I couldn't look at it long enough to name it.
 I know you shined a light on parts of me I didn't know I had
 But lately I've been wondering if really you created them
 I find myself twisted in all the wrong directions
 And I wonder if that was your doing
 What did you tamper with when I let you inside of me?
 Did you set my dismantling in stone?
 Did you know I could never think about you again if it meant thinking about me,
 Thinking about us?

Maybe it wasn't real enough for me to tell anyone about
But if it wasn't real, then why do I care so much?
If it wasn't real, why does it feel like a body rising in a swamp? 
If it wasn't real, why do I still see your silhouette in strangers' friend requests? 
Why can I picture you mirrored in my little cousin's life 
And why are you the first piece of a pattern that eats me alive now? 
Maybe it would've been easy to end it all
Maybe I should've ran as far away as I could
And I curse myself today for not doing exactly that
But I was a child.
And I didn't know any better. 

Didn't you?