Dear beloved,
I know you will never receive this.
But - my heart is yearning to write this
The bottle that I had sealed with your blue silk ribbon is starting to tear and my emotions that had been stored are starting to over fill.
I can't drown in this anymore.
They say ‘Til death do us part’, but I have one question. Why did we part when I built you a home inside me? It is almost like I lived in your heart, but couldn't get to your heart beat.
Everywhere I go I feel your presence protecting me like a shadow which has been stitched to my feet as wherever I go; I have you oddly beside me. There's not a day that I wake up and my mind doesn’t swiftly drift to you. And what will you be doing if you were here next to me.
Then… then I remembered that cold October afternoon.
When that tragedy occurred and you didn't get the chance to see the world, how I thought you would. You came to this earth with no intention to stray, but darling- the universe destroyed you.
Heart so little, so fragile, fingers tiny delicate quenched up to the side of your numb, colourless cheeks.
Your knees scrunched up to your heart, the heart that doesn't beat no more.
Your precious body fell perfectly into my trembling arms.
They told me don't cry, but I can't help the fact that there is a tear every time I blink. I had just met your eyes, but unfortunately they do not know me yet.
I wanted to scream in a world that told me to whisper my sorrows.
All I could vividly remember in that blur was when I rested your delicate body into the basket and wrapped you in that grey, rich, satin that had already been sinking in my tears.
I placed you in the casket peacefully.
And waited… waited until dawn.
To set not only you, but your soul away.
Far away... to the kingdom of the fallen.
Aleena Awan
