And how many children do you have?


I answer four, although 
what I mean to say is five 
but I don’t want to start that conversation 
with a well-meaning stranger. 
How can I explain that Sasha  
is wet ashes dissolved on a Surrey heath? 
She has passed through a door 
and I can’t pick the lock. 
She was; tiny blue feet  
stained ink black, 
footprints on snow white paper, 
a pastor’s prayer, a minor key. 
But I am still her mother. 
I still birthed her. 
She was still born 
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