if i imagine you hard enough maybe this time 

you’ll stick around

 

so i count to ten

deep breath, eyes closed

and by the grace of god i watch your hands 

waltz across my body

you’re nimble fingered and mischievous

but the glint of playful lust in your eyes doesn’t quite mask the 6ft drop of 

blinding love

and so we inhale each other

locked lips

we fuck and we are whole people

and by the grace of god i touch you and watch myself 

melt like wax into your very existence

 

but life continued its heavy force

and distance brought another goodbye

one full of soapy tears to wash the words

from both of our lips

call it a transparent tsunami of emotion 

but if i imagine you hard enough 

the storm will calm

and so i continue to conjure you up

my brain keeps quiet then

sullen waves

if i imagine you hard enough then i think i’m okay

i suppose i’m drowning but i suppose i’m okay.