A child-lie

A child-lie

I lost my train of thought years ago when I should have enjoyed being a child without thinking about what I wanted to be as an adult.

I lost my train of thought, and now that I'm an adult, I miss not knowing what it means to be a child.

I've always thought about what I could have been without knowing who I really was. In the time of "you have to" the one of "I want to" has no space, and in space, the time to be what you don't know you want to be does not exist.

I packed my bags to try and play under another sky. I built a new body, learned a new language, and for a while, not knowing who I was and being who I wasn't felt like a game.
But the game of not being what you are doesn't last long.

What do I have to be then to be who I want to be?

I should be a career woman.
I should be a wife.
I should be a mother.
I should be a good daughter.
I should go back to my country.
I should stay in my country.
I should be quiet.
I should be patient.
I should be grateful.

I should learn to be what I'm not, and only then will I be who I say I am.
A little child-lie which seeks to be an adult in a world that does not belong to her.

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Posted by Spoonstales follow

Silvia is an Italian writer, born, bred and buttered in Rome and currently based in London. She has been keen on writing ever since she was knee-high to a grasshopper and started to compose poems at the age of ten.Growing up in a matriarchal family, she developed an interest in the controversial female universe, which has inspired her book of short stories 'The spoons tales'. Still in progress, the latter tells about women, investigating different topics: from sexuality to their relationship with their bodies; from love to death. Passionate about both literature and cinema, she wrote the script of the video-poetry short movie ‘The Molluscs Revenge’, directed and produced by the video production company @studio_capta, in 2020.She identifies in video-art and video-poetry the perfect content container where to bring together different languages, perceived as an analysis-interpretative instrument that reifies the different artistic sensibilities, transforming them into poetic images. She also collaborated with the national online newspaper @larepubblica and the magazine @sentieriselvaggi writing several articles and film reviews from 2012 until 2016. In 2020, her short story ‘An Italian werewolf in London’ was one of the winners of the writing contest @IRSE RaccontaEstero. Finally, in 2021, together with the illustrator Simona De Leo, she started the creative project Tits'n'Tales.