Here is the link to the music video my best friend and I created at home.
http://https://youtu.be/qFo9WZp6hYQ
https
It's already out on spotify, itunes etc. I made the beat, wrote the lyrics, and recorded it in my bedroom.
It is a piece I'm incredibly proud of and writing it helped me heal so many wounds. I can't really explain the song any more than the it describes itself.
Here are the lyrics:
Mama caught me crying once again at 2 am
Asks me what’s been messing with my head
To vent, to get it off my chest she says
There’s nothing I could say that she wouldn’t accept
Except, I know how much the truth can hurt somebody
And I’m the type of person that needs to please everybody
I’m sure deep down that she knows what it’s about
She’s just waiting 'til I'm able to be honest and come out, it’s so difficult...
Do I tell her I feel invisible?
How do I say I think about killing myself without killing her?
My brains a jail cell and my thoughts are the prisoners
The kind with no visitors, no rights and no privileges
I’m feeling lost, you won't pick up the phone
So I got a pen and paper to write you a song
And since no one else will listen I'll just fold it up
Take a stamp and put my feelings in this envelope
Does anybody notice that I've just been holding pressure that I'm keeping inside?
If I were to open up are you close enough to hear what's on my mind?
I seem to focus on the worst things in my life
But I'm grateful, thankful, for the doubts
Cause it gives me something to write about
Silly me thought I could forget
The person who ran up the steps
To talk me off the ledge
She saved me within seconds of a permanent descend
Little did I know I would just fall for her instead
She told me not to trip of course I didn’t listen
What she didn’t know is I was so conflicted
Thought I was a goner but it changed the minute
She gave me a reason to work hard to fix the broken hearted artist
Unaware of all the consequences being high had brought her
Let in alcohol as occupants made nights a little warmer
The hotter each day became more often her mind would wander
Would anybody notice if one day she was a martyr
She believed it would solve every problem she caused
If she leaves she would never get caught
Never have to speak about her dealings she could write a note
Take a stamp and put her feelings in an envelope
Does anybody notice that I've just been holding pressure that I'm keeping inside?
If I were to open up are you close enough to hear what's on my mind?
I seem to focus on the worst things in my life
But I'm grateful, thankful, for the doubts
Cause it gives me something to write about
Started with a blank sheet writing this speech
Cause I can’t speak luckily for me talk is cheap
Tried to call but it said please leave a message at the beep
But I freeze cause I got cold feet
I feel weak at the thought of you reading this
I feel greedy for letting you be with this
So the least I can do is try to clean the mess
You should sleep on it, and appease the rest
We could try to make sense of the situation
Testing my trials and your tribulations
I’m outta time and you're out of patience
Tired of waiting for my statement
Neither of us wanna elevate this
Won’t go up to the others face
It’s gotten us stuck in the same old place
But now it’s too much so it’s time to say it
Does anybody notice that I've just been holding pressure that I'm keeping inside?
If I were to open up are you close enough to hear what's on my mind?
I seem to focus on the worst things in my life
But I'm grateful, thankful, for the doubts
Cause it gives me something to write about
Thank you for listening. <3
