Since clearing out my social media feed, following positive accounts and surrounding my online presence with the body positive movement, I have found myself feeling envious of others and frustrated at myself. Not like before, when my feed was extremely false, but in a way in which I am jealous of how others seem to love their body. 

With the brilliant body positive movement being SO great, but also adding a pressure to love your body, I have found myself questioning myself, why can I not feel this way?

This is a position I would LOVE to be in one day, but I think for some, expecting to love your body on this level is a little unrealistic and it’s actually OKAY to admit that. Going from hating your body and self destruction, to loving it, just may not be something you can achieve right now. 

I believe that you can recover without loving your body; I believe that to feel free around food, around movement, to accept yourself, to work on loving yourself and having compassion for yourself, you do not have to love your body.

So, how?

For now, I am focusing on gaining respect for my body and I want people to realise that this can be enough. For so long I felt hate towards my body and I thought it was the only way; ‘I do not love my body and so therefore I hate it’. No, not loving your body does not mean you must hate it.

Respecting a body that you do not love ☆

So, what is the difference?

Put simply, the definition of love is:

Right now, although I consider myself doing well in recovery, I do not feel any love towards my body. Feel the same? That is okay. 

and then definition of respect is:

To me, respect is essential in taking the first steps towards accepting your healthy body. 

I admire my body for it’s abilities and it’s achievements. Our bodies have done SO much and have gone through so much.

Now, I listen to the feelings, wishes and rights of my body; when my body is hungry, when my body wishes for rest, when my body has a certain craving. I acknowledge my body for what it needs. 

I respect and honour my body.

I do not love my body, but I do respect my body. 

I do not love my body, but that does not mean that I hate my body.

I do not hate my body, but that does not mean that I love my body.

Think of it as though it was another person; you may not love somebody, but that does not mean you hate them or do not have respect for them. You may have respect for somebody, but that does not mean you love them.

Body Neutrality ☆

Since researching the idea of body neutrality, I have found myself feeling calmer, more at peace with myself and where I am in recovery.

I am guessing most will have heard of the term ‘body neutrality’, but for those that haven’t it’s basically the idea that although you may not love your body, you respect your body and most importantly know that your body does not determine your worth. It is steering away from the positives and negatives of your body and more towards other personal attributes. You have a body, but your body does not define you.

I do not love my body; I do not hate my body. I am neutral. My body is just my body. 

I have moved my thoughts away from my body. I focus on other attributes; what makes me me?

Jameela Jamil’s (one of my favourite humans on the planet may I add) ‘I weigh’ campaign is a great way to start practicing body neutrality.

What makes you, you?☆

You are not your body. So just because you do not love your body right now, does not mean you cannot practice self love. 

I do not love my body, but I do love:

I love me.

I do not love my body.

Of course I hope that one day I may love my body, and I see this as a stepping stone, because it is unrealistic to go from hating your body, self-destruction to loving it totally. But I just want you to know, to feel free around food, around movement, to accept yourself, to work on loving yourself and having compassion for yourself, you do not have to love your body.

Keep fighting on. You are more than your body.