My god I took you for granted.
And there’s only so many times I can stomach the regrets I made before I want to claw them out of my insides. There shouldn’t have been room for regrets. There was not time. Time was ours until I stopped believing it was and then there was never enough.
I’ll never forgive myself for letting go of you, for losing sight of you
For turning around and closing the door
Long before you actually walked out of it
Because
in my whole 27 years of being on this god forsaken earth
Loving you was the only thing I ever did right.
Because you were the best poem I ever fucking wrote
And even after all these years
Of scraping back the words and trying to mesh them together
I still can’t make sense of these letters wrapped in metaphors.
I still can’t put my pen to paper
And draw out anything other than your name
And ‘I’m sorry’.
I still look for you, you know
In countries we never crossed
And continents we never kissed
And sometimes I still find you
Burning, softly, slowly,
In the lonely shadows of my heart
You always knew how to ignite a fire in me even when I was so sure I’d ran out of fuel.
I know we’ve both moved on
But there are still nights where I swear I feel you
In the creases of our sheets
In the curves of her skin.
If love is a war then I lived and died inside of you
And I’ve spent the last two years swallowing prescription pills
Throwing trust out of windowsills and
Skipping smoke out of my lungs
Desperately searching for some kind of resurrection.
I know that it’s over
But damn
I’d do anything to prop my lips
On the curves of your smile once more
To hang my heart
In the warm corridors of yours.
I’d give up an eternity of sunshine to feel my skin hot and burning against yours one last time.
I’m telling you, my love,
My lips are lost on loveless skin,
So tell me something
Are you still finding the pieces of my broken heart
Scattered across our bedroom floor?
In another life we’d have a second chance
What do you say?
Darling?
Just one more dance
I know how you love to dance.
My arms around your waist, your eyes holding mine, let’s rip down the clocks
And go back in time.
Of all the journeys I’ve ever made, coming home to you will always be my favourite, You know, I’ll never be able to teach myself to forget the feeling of your hands around my heart.
it’s been almost three years since we said goodbye
And I don’t think I’m any closer to letting you go.
It’s 3am and my thoughts are on fire
With the idea of you.
I’m still trying to figure out why it is
Every other woman I kiss
Leaves your taste on my lips.
Everything is temporary. Except you. You were always intended to be eternal.
In another life time
In every other life time
I am yours
And you are mine.
