the first time I loved

The first time I loved 
I loved his car 
and the feeling of his hands under my bra
didn’t really matter whose they were  

The first time I loved I liked the way it sounded 
to hear my name roll off his lips 
and having somebody’s arm round my hips 
didn’t really care if it was going anywhere

The first time I loved 
it was a drug 
I took to drown out my own thoughts  
of course i knew better than to think we’d last forever
but that’s not what getting high is for

The first time I loved I was seventeen
and knew nothing 
though I soon learned how fast those pretty boys become revolting
but it was a lonely winter and the days were cold 
I just wanted some big hands to hold
over dinner, walking in the woods, 
in the bar, where people would see us

The first time I loved I put up with too much 
I was in love with the idea of love 
Didn’t really factor that he couldn’t give a  fuck

The first time I loved I was bored 
so found a new way to be amused
missing you gave me something to do 
but I liked it even better when we were together

The first time I loved I was hungry 
the kind where you raid the cupboard 
but end up with a disappointing old biscuit  
cos you can’t be bothered to put tea in the oven  

The first time I loved was a disaster 
but it did the job
and afterwards i felt a lot better
I didn’t feel a ‘loss’ 

In fact I’d never felt adrenaline 
Like I did when I got rid of him 
So when the first time I loved 
went in the bin 
I smiled to myself and thought 
I wanna do that all over again 




 
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