i can't recall a feeling
outside of our love
so i bathe in it routinely
in nights and on mornings
i greet the water fondly
like a neighbor, or a judge
then slowly, submissively
my impact is braced
miles away, the sun flashes green
and for a second
i spot remorse, waving
as it glimmers on the horizon
and asks to kiss my nose
in a manner so politely
that it feels okay to say no,
i won't go with her,
even if i want to
because when i do, the sun believes me
and i have spent far too many dusks
pretending i was sorry
but its okay, i think
i don't need to worry
because i know i don't need you
and i'll only hold on as tight as i want to
and i know you love me
and i know you will do the same
so i close my eyes
as we sink below the tension
then i bow my head
and breathe effortlessly