03/12/19

If you had my love

And I gave you all my trust

Would you comfort me?

And if somehow you knew

That your love would be untrue

Would you lie to me?

To me These questions stimulate fear, the fear of fully depending on her for happiness, warmth, healing.

the fear in constantly drowning in her soft, fierce and light spirit.

I find stress in being her stress relief.

I can’t do it anymore and I won’t lie to her.

But What if already am? What if I’m already feeding her soft lies hoping God finds her someone better.

There’s a difference between

How can I escape this drug. commitment.

Do I dare to call her immature? Say she’s acting like every other girl - impatient, high maintenance.  

Or do I come to terms with the fact that I’m scared to make her mine?

In the corner of a mans mind there’s a place where vulnerability hides.

Unfortunately I keep my heart and my head separate.

Her innocence, my ignorance.