I Still Have Hope

“You can’t hurt me” 
Small sigh
“I would never” 
Little lie 
“I trust you”
Big mistake 
But one step is all it really takes 

“I love you” 
The words blur 
“And as do I” 
Yeah, for sure 
“I have never 
felt this way” 
Too bad he didn’t mean to stay.

It was April when it all began 
The little pieces crumble
I felt it from the first “I’m tired” 
And his thoughts began to fumble

No longer was it 
“I see us there” 
You used instead 
“God permitting...”
And all the moments that we shared were 
“Slipping from my memory”

I danced around my room singing 
“It’s you, it’s you, it’s you!”
And my dumb self already knew it - 
“You’re not okay, are you?”

You used to say that when you prayed 
At the old church by yourself you’d say,
“May the next girl be my wife,
May the next one be the love of my life”
I came along so unexpected -
Could that have been what had happened? 
Could this have been a sign from above 
That I should be the one you love?

But despite what He had made true, 
That was not enough for you 
So you picked up and returned what you were gifted 
And claimed that all your love had shifted 

Said you won’t go back
Back to her 
But I should have known - 
That you returned 
Returned to all that taunted your dreams 
Returned to what causes your miseries
 
I claimed to you I’d be your wife - 
And I’ll cling to that dream for all my life 
I cling to it still to this day
That you’ll come back - 
And finally stay.

A haunting story of love so true
Too bad it was only one of the two 
But I fear not, for I will see 
The day that you’ll return to me 
For we were beautiful - we were good 
There was nothing we’d misunderstood 
There was no fighting
There was no hate 
Had I just met you far too late? 

Far before your heart was torn 
Before you blindly walked into the storm 
Before your heart settled on wrong 
Before your thoughts held on too long 
Before your brother took that chance 
And made your life an avalanche
Before your head was traumatized 
Before you had those sad, sad eyes 
Before you felt your worth expire 
Before you tied your heart in barbed wire...

Before then, if I had met you, 
Would there still be hope for us two?


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