Second, first

A love letter to the second guy I wrote a love letter to – 
A guy who shared a relationship with me
This relationship completely deserving of my attention
Between me and my very first love
A guy who crosses my mind every now and then
You used to be the only thing I thought about
I used to count the reasons I loved you
I used to sleep pretending you were holding my hand
My breath used to land on your cheek whenever I fell asleep
But now something is different
My mind isn’t as kind to those thoughts of you anymore
My heart is protecting itself from the pain I used to endure
I think of you and realize
I’ve run out of memories to go over
I see you now and I don’t remember
Was there something about you that made me die?
Was there something in your eyes that looked like love?
I don’t want to forget you
So I’m looking for old things to remember you by
Something that isn’t there
Something that isn’t you, it isn’t me
You’re different now and I agree that it’s probably for the better
If I didn’t send you this love letter
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