This Feeling Nothing like I have ever felt Before

I was in love the first time I heard her laugh. 
As much as I regretted it I couldn’t take it back. 
All the words spill out of me like poison. 
Threatening to take us all down in an implosion. 
Ditching every life raft hoping to drown in her blue eyes. 
Because in my dreams all I see is her smile. 
And remembering it hits me like a bullet from a gun. 
I can’t remember the last time someone looked like they were genuinely happy to see me. 
Hoping it won’t hurt to memorize you. 
While hoping I don’t have to plan how to forget you someday. 
I’m hoping you’ll think of me today. 
Hoping that maybe you might think I could be the one. 
Because I want this to be the first page of a book that never has to end. 
Because you don’t know it yet but for you my heart aches to mend. 
So take my shattered pieces and breathe life into them again. 
Take these unraveling seams that have been leading me right to you. 

I want to memorize every freckle on her skin. 
Wanting to learn how to breathe again. 
Willing to do whatever it takes not to be this broken shell that I have gotten complacent inside. 
Asking for the keys to make my home inside your smile. 
Gift wrapped, ribbon enfolded, gift boxed my heart to place in your hands. 
It’s ached to call you home now for far too long. 

My heart started to beat the first time I heard her laugh. 
It was in the moment I realized it didn’t feel black and white or that ever sung Red. 
The thread tugged and nothing else to be said or done. 
It isn’t butterflies or fireworks, it's completeness this never ending calm. 
It is feeling like I’m home finally
I have been writing since I was 11. My current goal is to become a published writer.