as i walked through years of youth 
my face shifted 
cheekbones rose 
lips plumbed 
eyes darkened 
had an eye for those blind to their own toxicity 
i became my mother
had no idea who else i wanted to be 
almost every man i encountered had managed to get physical and never in the way i asked for 
became an adult at the age of thirteen 
and knew how to lie myself out of any situation 
i was told everything happens for a reason so many times 
i began to create my own reason 
white suburbia has more corruption than politics 
sex, drugs, alcohol, nudes, domestic violence, sexual annihilation 
and on sunday’s, god 
on some mornings i wouldn’t recognize my mother 
i walked through that house and it felt like every step 
lead me farther down a path of hate that i can’t explain 
thought about what i’d say at my own funeral 
what if i never made it out of that place? 
never had power in my life before graduation day 
and believe me, 
i was out of my mind at the parties 
had more of a longing for freedom than salvation 
and that is when i knew you could go through more than you could handle 
it’s been a long childhood,
but i’m out