i see her. i see her when she thinks 
i don't see her in the hallways
i see that she sees me too but 
we don't see each other 
being together 

i know she knows i know about
the same feelings
we share. 
it's too obvious to not show. 
it's been there
our time spent apart 
has given space to a weird animosity 
that wasn't there before. a strange new 
feeling that separates our 
"friendship" 
from what we really feel for each other 

in her eyes
i'm nothing but trash. 
those chances i took. 
advances i made. 
rejected in the moment i uttered a proposal. 
she's not a 
bitch
at least i don't think she is
i opened up wanting her to reciprocate 
the action of being vulnerable. 

she's rough around the edges, a solid fact
she's tough to crack 
and i don't know what else to do about that 
i'm too stubborn to bend over backwards 
for a girl who may not even be interested 
in me anymore. 

her friend says otherwise. 
but is she not just spouting lie on top of lie 
to hype up my ego 
to make me feel worthy of someone else's 
love
despite how i can't do the same for 
myself 

false hopes raises anticipated betrayal 
if the blade is pushed too deep
that i start to 
bleed 

then doesn't that make me a fool for 
nothing?

the pain, the blood, i am no more than a fool 
who is madly in love with the preserved feelings 
that we could've shared

a fool who want a girl that doesn't want me 
the same way 
i want her