My voice quivers as I apologize for breathing too loud 

I’m grateful too grateful for the “love” you’ve  given me 

I’m begging you for company

Mishandled 

Self-doubt leads to hesitation 

I envy you all

Bruised and battered 

 standing firm is foreign 

I hide 

Indecisively defensive 

I’ve made myself invisible 

I wanted to disappear and apologize for ever speaking 

I wanted to be anyone but this person 

I made myself fade away 

So you should understand why I’m begging you to love me

Why I’ll do anything to please you 

I wanted to reboot and reset

be 

Reborn and restart 

Recalled then fast forward

to the revision of my script 

The scars are gone but so is my confidence 

So I’m sorry 

Apologies are all that’s left of me 

Comparison has me cornered 

Dysfunction is too familiar 

I’ve never known peace 

I would like a new narrative 

I would like to begin with me