Defective



My voice quivers as I apologize for breathing too loud 
I’m grateful too grateful for the “love” you’ve  given me 
I’m begging you for company

Mishandled 
Self-doubt leads to hesitation 
I envy you all

Bruised and battered 
 standing firm is foreign 
I hide 
Indecisively defensive 

I’ve made myself invisible 
I wanted to disappear and apologize for ever speaking 
I wanted to be anyone but this person 
I made myself fade away 

So you should understand why I’m begging you to love me
Why I’ll do anything to please you 
I wanted to reboot and reset
be 
Reborn and restart 
Recalled then fast forward
to the revision of my script 

The scars are gone but so is my confidence 
So I’m sorry 
Apologies are all that’s left of me 
Comparison has me cornered 
Dysfunction is too familiar 
I’ve never known peace 
I would like a new narrative 
I would like to begin with me


Michelle Berko is a Ghanaian- American writer and visual artist. She is 26 years and has interests in film, psychology, dance, and surrealism. She's a mental health advocate who uses poetry as a tool for healing and self-expression
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