I can’t change
What has happened in the past.
How I built weak walls
And let them be torn down,
Letting the face of insecurity taunt me
Day, and night,
And everywhere I go.
As children we were taught
That only sticks and stones
Would break bones
And that words will never hurt you,
But why?
Why did I feel the constant pain
Of a knife being jabbed into my chest?
I didn’t look up.
I couldn’t.
For I could not dare,
Raise my eyes
And peer into the demon’s stare
For the fear that the cries of another prisoner
That shattered chandeliers
Would turn out as my own.
My own blizzard of tears.
When I was a child,
I tried to hide my heart in a box,
Under a huge pile of socks,
In the back of the closet
Because
I’ve been told countless times
That if I’m not careful,
Someday,
It will shatter.
In the closet was not a secure spot at all.
What has happened in the past.
How I built weak walls
And let them be torn down,
Letting the face of insecurity taunt me
Day, and night,
And everywhere I go.
As children we were taught
That only sticks and stones
Would break bones
And that words will never hurt you,
But why?
Why did I feel the constant pain
Of a knife being jabbed into my chest?
I didn’t look up.
I couldn’t.
For I could not dare,
Raise my eyes
And peer into the demon’s stare
For the fear that the cries of another prisoner
That shattered chandeliers
Would turn out as my own.
My own blizzard of tears.
When I was a child,
I tried to hide my heart in a box,
Under a huge pile of socks,
In the back of the closet
Because
I’ve been told countless times
That if I’m not careful,
Someday,
It will shatter.
In the closet was not a secure spot at all.
With infinite attempts to lock it back up,
It only got worse
As it still got shot down,
Every shot,
I felt that I was going to drown
Deeper and deeper in the ocean of despair.
And the hardest part,
Is not getting shot down.
It’s how my heart has been shot
So many times,
Over, and over,
And still,
It lives.
For I know
That when it regrows,
I can’t change my fate
Of continuously
Having to deal with being a slave
In this dark hole of misery.
After being tortured for so long
I’ve endured far too much
Watching my own heart
Being snatched out of my clutch
And losing grasp of everything I had.
But then,
Something clicked.
Some spark in me
That suddenly flicked
On
Something
That suddenly broke out
From it’s hidden shell
Buried deep within the darkest trenches of my soul.
And it was then,
When I became the fiercest cheetah
When I got up
And confronted my fears of the devil
Face to face.
I became unstoppable.
Within my mind, a quest
Of taking back everything I had
And ripping the hatred out of the devil’s chest.
I became a warrior.
No more sadness,
Only gladness,
Only gladness,
That I’ve found this strength.
And now,
I’m as bright as a blazing fire shining in the dark night.
