18
old enough to vote 
old enough to work 
old enough to love 
old enough to carry the weight of life 
I’m almost 18
or at least that’s what my parents continue to remind me as the tears stream down my red cheeks
“you’re almost 18”
as I scream internally over how utterly frustrated I am with the pure self disappointment I feel towards myself 
“you’re almost 18”
as I shake uncontrollably from my crushing anxiety 
“you’re almost 18”
they tell me as they explain how tough the real world is
I’m almost 18
But I have never ever felt so young 
I’m almost 18 
But I’ve never ever felt so lost 
I’m almost 18
But I’ve never felt farther from what I want in life
I love my parents and they love me
Their youngest is almost 18 and still cries the way she did when she came home from the hospital
Gasping for air and runny noses
Still fighting the urge to check the lock and start pulling at her hair as compulsions take form 
Still clutching at her chest as panic sets in 
I feel four years old again 
Not knowing how to conquer my feelings 
Mental instability doesn’t have an age limit