Chalk in hand, etching boundaries as lines in gravel, praying for high tide so they are erased once again. I’m thinking about how I give up ownership of myself every night to sleep and if I fabricate fatigue, I can do that with you too. I will remove my ribs, one my one, curl them inwards on a slate of snow, I want to be placed next to a can on the shelf, forgotten about until winter where I will have to be thawed out. By then it will be too late. I realise this is fictional, so you can leave sticky imprints, sap to a tree touched until I am all gone, likened to the morning dew. I awake in the field and suck a lemon and my breath and a lollipop and my thumb and then cry in my cradle. I swaddle myself in a factory line force field, clad in invincibility and a lack of autonomy. Recklessness has become so inviting, so I sharpen a penknife as I let my conditioner sit, I pick out a new area as I try on clothes, I mutate as incense mends.  

Maybe I’ll see you one last final time, the cord cutting spell has not yet taken place. 

Or,

I go into construction work, I find a filthy rag and a set of tools and watch as cement mix churns and spits and then guard the drying words with my arms. I’m thinking about how impenetrable I have made myself and if I can bulldoze buildings and puppeteer skyscrapers to mud, I can do that with you too. I will sew together wire wings, set flight to them at mountains peak, I want my spider legs to navigate me somewhere I don’t recognise, unmarked my place names. By then it will no longer be a secret. I realise this is plausible, so I leave trodden footprints, a path to a clearing, lay until I am all together, likened now to natures breath. I awake in the grass and promise a girl and myself and the sea and the fog and then swim in the water. I cradle myself in salt, clad in ripples and frost and kindness. Recklessness is no longer tempting, so I fashion a swing set as I wash you out of my hair, I silence your voice as I kiss my knees, I multiply over and over. 

It’s only me, the candles have burnt down and the string exhales into ashes.