A Struggle to Confess

The first time I tried to
spit the words out-like the
blood dripping from my mouth-
I couldn't. The salt
stuck between teeth and gums 
as syllables bit into my mouth
Like thorns. "Sweetheart,
sweetie, I'm confused,"
and I think I like your friend
but it's far too soon to introduce
another friend-group
relationship when his EX 
is  r i g h t  t h e r e.

And darling, it burns the
back of my throat like
a strangled scream
because I know I can't handle
liking someone, loving someone.
My search for your advice is the
first step in my plan
for certain disaster. My certain
disaster of a heart. 

I warned you, told you
not to let me feel.
Now he's on my mind,
taking up my time, and I'm way too
impatient for this delicate situation. 
Call me unwise and you'd be right. 

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