triggered

wanting to end it all but
fighting to learn my purpose
tired of this life
not being understood
well, what is why purpose
do i have one
seems like i don’t 
in these times who’s really there
not one soul
lonely i’ve been feeling
the person i go to the most 
don’t wanna burden 
i call on God 
is he still there 
maybe i’m not listening hard enough
why must i wait so long 
deep inside i can’t seem to feel this pain anymore
numb i am to all of this
when it’d be much easier to fill my lungs with water as i lay in the tub
or engulfing my body with flames as i sit and bear the pain 
do i really wanna go through with this
no but maybe soon if i can’t get the help i need
and find clear sanity
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