Rome jun 1 5 am
When I went on my first date
I Walked with a slight limp from a bruised Achilles heel
I wore shoes too small for me the day before
But this night,I stripped myself to barebones
Kept only laid baby hairs and lipgloss
And clothes that did not belong to me
My earrings lookin too unfamiliar to be spotted on me
Drowning myself in unknown perfumes
Hoping to Ridding myself of anything recongible
As if god and my aunt wouldn’t find me in this makeshift costume
In a city 6,228 miles away from home, I found the only man who felt like home
His arms becoming the walls of those old Victorian homes in west Oakland
Paint faintly chipping at bottom due to the good years
Old bbq grills in the corner that seen too many cookouts and still had more to come
The fence being rustic from the human touches as people passed through in and out
The gates never being fully closed as if to say
“You are always welcomed”
In a place unknown,he met me at the cafe by the station
He held my cold hands and stared as I continued to talk about nothing and everything
Time didn’t matter as we talked about his mother,my mother,his sisters,my sisters,my ex,his ex wife
and the infinity space between our fathers and us
We kept apologizing as one spoke over the other
“I’m sorry,you go ahead” my bad for cutting you off”
What else would you expect from two Geminis who momentarily wanted to share their world with each other
Every childhood memory,high school tragedies and daily life began to spill out
The apologizes slowly became white noise as we apologized for being simply there
After long talks of our past and present, we found ourselves in silence in the middle of an ancient church
The needed quietness allowing us to bask in the false sense of home
Two Muslims staring out in the grandness of the Vatican
Wondering which patron saint watched over these forgein lovers
locals and statues wondering what we could be doing together in such a place like this
Both of us realizing we should not be here but the warmth kept us inside
And here being that old Victorian house in west oakland that the third step creaked just a little
He said I reminded him of a mockingbird
That I fall silent after moments of singing
As if I was quietly memorzing a new song to sing for him
He didn’t know that as mockingbird, I tried to blend in with this city of strangers just for that 2 weeks
Perfectly mimicking other’s songs to ensure I did not stand out in a crowd already full of foreigners
Making sure I speak proper,properly
And show enough hair to mix in with the hundred of heads that walked in and out of the pantheon
Later that night, we found that unmated mockingbirds sing at night more than mated one
Hopping to find comfort in their loneliness
In the confusion of limbs and curls,we both sang our own songs
him whispering my name as if it would grant some prayer of salvation
Saying my name in ways I never knew I needed
Me forgetting his name in the dark of the night as the fear of saying his name would solidify this unholy matrimony
My silence becoming a unsigned dowery as if our fathers were waiting by the door with a pen and matching bands of rings
But Both of us sound asleep in arms that reminded them of the bay
sweat smelling too much like saltwater that encapsulated our lives back home
That night back in the Bay Area, the waves stopped hitting the rocks in a moment of peace
The sea allowing the waves to commit to vows they knew they could not keep
As if they heard us asking for time to not move on without us
To Just allow us a few more hours in this day that was already too long
Like we were willingly sit through Bart’s final trains and skip our stops altogether
Just to continue interrupting each other,to learn more of each other
We both didn’t talk as we walked around for a taxi
The plural “we” slowly transforming into him and I
The comfort of silence allowing him and I to be in our own little world
Not knowing if neither one should promise to meet up back in either nests
Or leave this day of mistakes in this unknown city
I said my goodbyes
And he said his goodbyes
not realizing
After this 10 hour date ended
he would be 859 miles away in Istanbul
Ready to make space for another in his Victorian home
and I would be stuck back in the bay between the rocks and waves as they unpaused
And clashed
