Firsts (TW)

First is life
Until you learn strife 
Until you learn night
Until you learn life

Darkness a scary sight
First time to feel your alone at night
Fighting yourself
And not any of that negative light

Losing yourself, you’ve haven’t before
Scary as plight against your own life
From darkness to light
From daytime to night
Run from the first time you hated your life

Knock on the door 
You’ve never done this before 
Confess about your minds intent for war
To you mom and dad at their bedroom door

First time you planned a detailed goodbye 
But you say keep yourself alive 
Heart breaks when the pain becomes increasingly numb
And admitting it doesn’t phase me anymore

Then finally the time the first time in awhile 
I’ve seen things pick up
And I’m no more reliant 
On the thought of keeping numb

For the first time in a while
I can breathe and smile
Life? I think I’ll stay for a while
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