she was a bundle of nerves

was she really about to do this?

with a guy she didn’t care about?

she didn’t even know his middle name

she thought it would happen in a bed in a room

not in a car in a field

on a sunny afternoon

with a bland pop song in the background

she couldn’t even name the song even if she wanted to

no connection

just sex

she could see everything wrong with her

everything wrong with this

but it was too late to back out 

she was past the point where she could say no

then it was over

“that was the big deal?”

“that was supposed to be a life changing moment?”

she didn’t feel any different

she was still alone