she was a bundle of nerves
was she really about to do this?
with a guy she didn’t care about?
she didn’t even know his middle name
she thought it would happen in a bed in a room
not in a car in a field
on a sunny afternoon
with a bland pop song in the background
she couldn’t even name the song even if she wanted to
no connection
just sex
she could see everything wrong with her
everything wrong with this
but it was too late to back out
she was past the point where she could say no
then it was over
“that was the big deal?”
“that was supposed to be a life changing moment?”
she didn’t feel any different
she was still alone
