It

I often see it if i squint or close my eyes
Happiness, peace, serenity
But then
I open my eyes
I wake up
Wishing it was mine

I see it there 
Too far to touch
I think to myself
Can it be mine?

I never see it now
I never look anymore
I don’t even think it can be mine
I often ask myself
Who am i?
Why am i here?
I always close my eyes
Dreaming of darkness, of an escape
I don’t open my eyes
I stopped asking if it can be mine
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