Life is Too Painful

Life is too painful
I cannot process these thoughts  in such an orderly fashion
to the left, if you're
unreasonable and false 
to the right, if you're made of reason and truth 
Somewhere along this year 
my mind turned backward 
and I began to process these thoughts differently 
to the left, if you're made of reason 
the right if you're an embodiment of
all my childhood fears and anxieties 
or thoughts snared upon a bush made of maladies of the mind 
thorns pricking at the very essence of my soul 
to the right if you are indeed that 
because you will be packed away 
into all the important aspects of my daily life 
and I will not call upon you 
but you upon me 
And when you call you will bellow 
you will plant one single seed 
and from it a single rose 
and its thorns shall bleed 
into my vision into my ears 
and it will make everything clear 
too clear 
so clear that my head will boil 
and begin to melt alongside my right to live 
boiling through my will to be 
and stopping at the edge of a mountain

where you will leave me

not quite into the sea but close enough for me to think

that any moment I will fall

and if I do
I beg 

at least I no longer walk on the edge of insanity
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