I see you now on the brink of a new life
On the precipice of love -
I see you craving new fullness,
The plum of family.
I would adore a conversation that could bring you to light;
a way to say
Keep it kind
Self-reflect
But I am small and my love falls to the wind,
Announces itself to your surprise
And the behaviours stay,
Right in front.
You have hurt me,
Held
My neck in your palm and yelled.
I roll the ball to your baby boy
We are in dry chicken wings and far too sweet cake,
We are in old jokes and splintered affections
There is warmth,
There are spikes,
There is warmth -
Gardens,
And every moment I spend with you
Is the little lunch breaks
Where I hid, in your kitchen
Safe from making friends;
Safe from accountability.
I hold myself up,
to new standards;
I hold myself full
In your presence, your joy
In your lack of safety.