BOOK OF SELF - An Essay
Whether we are or are not on this earth for a reason has been an eternal question that we all want to answer.
If there is an answer it cannot be a universal one or the question would not be an issue in the first place. In essence it is therefore an irrelevance.
If this is true though, then who are we? We must be something dictated by our conscience, by our Self or we would simply just not be. We need our Self to exist.
This book is a book of your conscience and maybe your sub-conscience life which you will write.
Unlike a diary or other peoples’ snap shots which keep time constant and in the present, this will reflect your present your past and possibly influence your future. If and when you discover a reason or meaning for being here, and choose to act on it you are one step closer to your Self.
Life is all about choice and you can choose to use the information you uncover about yourself however you like.
Destiny is too easy an answer, for every action there is a reaction whether you like it or not. You can control your life better if you understand it and by writing this book you have no excuse not to maximize your own potential and live as good and fulfilling a life as you can.
It starts the day you are conceived and ends when you are complete, which is hopefully before you are dead! By utilising your mind – your Self- you should be complete long before you are dead, but only if you listen to your Self! This is also your legacy to yourself and your families or friends, it is up to you. Under no circumstances however should anyone other than yourself put anything in your book, with the exception of your conception! The Self is by nature selfish, and thus your book of Self must be too.
This is not a task that should be onerous or life consuming; it is only to be used occasionally as needed or relevant. In fact it can go for years untouched in any way and this is suggested for the concept to work with objectivity, rather than the subjective nature of other self kept albums or diaries. With these you can reminisce but seldom learn from or pass lessons on if you choose. Book of Self should be occasionally spontaneous and always above all truthful to you at the time, especially as it will probably be written or drawn or dictated over a period of about 50 years during which it is a tool of learning. After which it becomes a gift to yourself, because only after this period of time will you appreciate it fully.
The whole idea of the Book of Self is to learn to be happy with your life and achieve a sense of personal fulfillment we all desire. We are giving ourselves permission to be selfish without feeling guilty and at the same time using our own selfishness to be better people.
Too often, what are castigated as the worst of human emotions can be suppressive to our Self, by giving ourselves permission to express them in a verbal and rational way to our Self, we can release and learn the positive side of what is essentially our Ying and Yang and have some fun and fulfillment in doing so!
It is obvious, that whilst this is a book of Self, if you’re starting as young as conception you will have no tools to articulate your feelings. At this stage therefore it is going to be up to someone else to do this for you. At least until you can say a few words or draw how you FEEL or what you SEE. These words are in capitals for a very important reason. You must keep your perceptions pure but open. To an observer a 9 month old child who colours a page red would probably assume that this means the child is angry. This is your learnt perception – red means anger. To the child it may be simply vivid, the first colour they picked up, a favorite colour for some reason, or just an implement that was there that they decided to use. By doing this action though you must understand that they have a Self and for whatever reason they have made a Choice. You can observe the child and make and comment as to their apparent overall demeanor, but this is the only comment you may make along with say the date and weather. The baby is and has been learning all this time. Your contribution is merely to describe objectively as possible what you are SEEING without drawing any conclusions. This is the end of chapter one of book one of the child’s life. Once a child is obviously communicating it is your job as temporary custodian of their book to record these and keep them safe until they can take over responsibility of the Book of Self for themselves.
Again, as custodian you must not influence what goes in the book, but for the first few years it is your responsibility to keep what does NOT go in, in case a more astute 3-year-old decides it IS after all important. This is also a book of evolution. It does not however have to begin as young as this. It can be started at any time of your life you choose. If you choose to start it in your forties say and want to be reflective of your past and important moments, be careful of FALSE MEMORIES. These are where we are absolutely convinced something happened at a particular time in our lives, when in fact it did not happen at all. This is not an uncommon phenomenon and you may want to be certain of your facts before committing them to your Book of Self. Even if you are told something you remember is not in fact real you still may want to include it and try to understand WHY a fictitious or elaborated event can evoke such a strong memory or feeling.
If you start this as a child you may want to fast forward and write what you expect to be doing in 20’s 30’s or 90’s. This is OK and could be very interesting when you read the book of your Self! Imagine reading who you thought you would be at 90 when you were just 10.
This really bring us to how do we keep this book. The most obvious way is by writing it, but after 20 or so years you will probably be really fed up lugging it around. This is the present and we have no idea what technology will be available in the future, other than the fact that it will be different. However this should not be considered an issue to worry about. Use what you feel comfortable with at the time. All creators do not use the same medium or have access to the same materials it’s part of what makes us all different.
We start at book I part I and end whenever…book 50 part X? It will be important however to keep some form of copy of your Book of Self, otherwise you won’t be in a position to understand it or to use it to better understand your life as you age. You will not be able to HEAR your past to SEE your NOW or change for the future! Lose it and you are throwing away part of Your Self. You may want to be able to lose parts of your life, erase them forget them, relive them , whatever. We all do! You should however be able to close parts of the book of your Self. This however should be highly symbolic part of your book of Self. It must also be life changing. So, don’t destroy it, Close it, Seal it and lock it away in a safe place, because you may want to open it again at some point in the future or use it as something physical as to why you do not. Equally you should not change anything in your book, but you can add comments to it later in life, which is an important part understanding of who you are in the present as opposed to who you were in the past. When you come across those fast-forward entries you wrote as a younger person, well, can you imagine? Hopefully you will not be disappointed as a child’s enthusiasm can take you by surprise! You may have exceeded your expectations or you may think you have dismally failed what you must NOT do is judge yourself by what you thought in the past. The past is gone, and there is absolutely nothing we can do about that. We can take hints however or small kicks in the butt to do something about NOW and the Future. Life is all about change and learning and the sooner we get it, the sooner we can enjoy it and whatever our circumstances it’s certain we will die someday. We cannot say for certainty what happens at death, but by writing this book you have preserved your Self for eternity, isn’t that what we all secretly want? With the book of Self this is achievable. Don’t be so surprised!
© 2021 Karen Glen
