Will you still love me when I’m a howling wind, pushing against your very foundations? I’m a tornado, constantly sucking in and spitting out.
Some days I drown in the quagmires of my psychobiological dysfunction, others I freeze, locked in the icy grip of trauma. On other days I race through a thousand thoughts a minute and impulsively damage things, most often myself. You deserve someone that calms you, that doesn’t worry you, someone without webs of scars criss-crossing their body and soul. You are so pure and so tender, you are the chalk art on the pavement to my intruding thunderstorm and I am scared that even my love for you won’t be able to stop the teardrop shaped rain.
The first time I told you that I have a mental illness the words mixed up in my mouth. I eventually stuttered them into order and laid them at your feet and hid my eyes from your gaze. You smiled, you tenderly asked me some questions about it. You were so casual, as if I’d not just spilled a confession over the floor, as if I’d not just produced a medically named warning sign replete with red flags made of prescriptions.
We’re halfway through 2023 and critics are slouching towards their Best Records Of The Year So Far lists. They’re rarely happy about it. If dicing releases every 12 months is arbitrary, then six months is labor on a factory line, wood chips for the content mill. But this year, I feel like they hate these lists more than usual. They’re having a hard time picking much. And maybe you are, too. P...
At the close of 2022, Bitcoin wasn’t just down—it was so down that its precipitous fall was breaking records. One report from Bank of America suggested that the collapse in value was the fifth-worst for any asset in financial history. Despite steady gains this year, it hasn’t even come close to its November 2021 peak, and now things are about to get shaken up like a bead in a baby’s rattle w...
In Ari Aster’s 2016 short film C’est La Vie, Chester Crummings, a homeless man, speaks directly and combatively to camera about his life and society at large as he wanders the streets of LA, surviving, begging for change and casually murdering people. At one point, he says: “You know what Freud says about the nature of horror? He says it’s when the home becomes unhomelike. Unheimlich.”
In Sig...
