My twenty twenty was a process, which consisted of six stages:
One: Optimism Accompanied by the Void - 2020 felt new, fresh and ripe with opportunities. Knowing that my "sweet sixteen" would take place later this year, a sign that new beginnings were meant to be. However, I was a hollow shell: wanting nothing but to run away, even though I didn't know what I was running from. There was a constant melancholy fog inhibiting my being, I received medication, desperately hoping that it would save me.
Two: Confusion, the Unfortunate Effects of Hollowness - In ode to the countless harrowing gazes into the mirror, where I gradually watched the features of my face twist with delusion; shrinking and growing, moving and unsettling. I have lost myself. With the sinisterly dreadful feeling in the air, 2020 mustn't be the year for brighter beginnings after all.
Three: Growth (Apart?) - When spring and it's beautiful weather (and lockdown) arrived, so did the effects of my medicine, and it was working! I learnt to appreciate the everlasting beauty of the nature around me. However, a lingering sense of loneliness began to grow. The idea of staying at home was heaven to me, but the isolation finally caught up to me, making it feel as if the world was against me, driving me to failure,
Four: Awarding Pride -
Self-made medal of freedom, in dedication to finally gaining the voice to speak out against your community's struggles. I gave a speech at a trans rights protest about being a young person with no support or education on themselves and also started a petition to reform the gender recognition act (however it was declined by the government for "already having a petition under this topic" even though there were none matching my specific calls to change).
Five: Connection -
Despite the lockdown and globally chronic feelings of loneliness due to isolation, it felt like my life was just starting. Meeting people on a train turned into the first physical safe space in my life that wasn't my bedroom, it's where my friends are. The first time I got to make a connection, and I definitely treasured it because of the previous lack of contact with others.
Six: Freedom... to an Extent - The next year felt like an opening. After reconnecting to the world around me and breaking up the fog in my mind, it felt like the worst was over. The light at the end of the tunnel was visible.
And this is it, the worst of the worst. Anyone who has survived the vigorous process of 2020 has the resilience inside them to survive anything. Hard times make us stronger.
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In Sig...
